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Mass Effect Comic Medical Results

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The cosmetic surgery machine in the game actually looks like that. I think it's supposed to be some kind of tray but I prefer to interpret it as the Happy Face-er 2000 skin resurfacing module. Dr.Chakwas' first name is never revealed so I am going to assume it is "Cleopatra". Edit the mass effect wiki accordingly.

Some notes:
  • 32,000 ounces in one short ton
  • 50,000 tons = 1.6 billion ounces
  • In 2008 the price of platinum ranged from $774 to $2,252 per ounce
  • That's $1.2 to $3.6 trillion for 50,000 tons
  • 50,000 tons of platinum could form a solid cube approximately 12.84 meters on a side
  • In 2006 only 239 tons of platinum were sold


Transcript:
Mass Effect Comic 'Medical Results'

Panel 1
Dr.Chakwas: Stop squirming, I'm almost done.
Shepard: Ow! Well it hurts!
Dr.Chakwas: Well if you'd stop squirming it wouldn't hurt so much. There. Good as new.

Panel 2
Shepard: Ah.. Thanks Doc. This machine is ah.. great and all but it doesn't look like it weighs 50,000 tons. Where did all that platinum go?

Panel 3
[Somewhere in the desert, an enormous, solid platinum statue of Dr.Chakwas riding an elephant reads: All Hail Cleopatra Chakwas God-Queen of All Medicine]



Comments
Stardust (IP: 72.133.229.10) 2011-03-03 13:48:57
I still want a silver elephant.
Bloody Mary (IP: 97.125.39.38) 2011-03-03 14:37:39
Great work as always.
I like the inscription on the statue.
MegaScience (IP: 74.64.75.124) 2011-03-03 14:40:14
Fuck that, Stardust, I want a Platinum Elephant.
(IP: 24.200.20.181) 2011-03-03 15:22:27
Huh, didn't know her first name was Cleopatra
(IP: 94.113.150.72) 2011-03-03 16:11:10
Pure awesome. As always.
MackTheHunter (IP: 174.88.204.223) 2011-03-03 17:28:34
That healing device... ITS SO HAPPY :D
Guilty Bystander (IP: 98.203.252.240) 2011-03-03 21:02:33
Your FemShep gets cuter with every strip. Thanks and I hope you keep making these!

Here's another little mistake that machine might be used to fix. (NOT safe for work.)
http://femshep.com/ME/Snafu/snafu.html
Eli (IP: 173.17.99.196) 2011-03-03 22:20:47
This is hilarious and it awesome
SeventhSandwich (IP: 72.208.61.21) 2011-03-04 19:37:26
@Guilty Bystander
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER NIPS?
Bloody Mary (IP: 97.125.37.127) 2011-03-05 01:47:54
I also like how Shepard looks so cute in the second panel.
Guilty Bystander (IP: 98.203.252.240) 2011-03-05 03:51:14
@Bloody Mary
I like how she looks so cute in the first panel as well.
Though I am surprised the good doctor isn't drawn as milf-a-licious :)

@SeventhSandwich
Look down a ways, she has even worse problems than that :(
Bloody Mary (IP: 97.125.40.13) 2011-03-05 21:18:36
Also, the healing thing looks like a frog.
Amanda (IP: 206.45.24.224) 2011-03-06 11:33:52
LOL!
cMauAg (IP: 189.152.142.110) 2011-03-07 03:11:02
Shepard looks so cute in the first panel
Jetz (IP: 170.185.98.19) 2011-03-11 11:22:56
I also asked in that comic why Shepard doesn't wear shoes. That floor must feel cold. Would it be worth spending five thousand tons of Element Zero to install a carpet?
Marz (IP: 70.29.129.55) 2011-03-12 18:02:01
Your Shepard is pretty hot :)
derp (IP: 198.151.130.70) 2011-03-24 15:35:12
I love your ME comics. <33
brilliant. (IP: 72.220.78.164) 2011-05-02 00:44:31
absolutely brilliance
Math (IP: 108.86.20.177) 2011-06-29 23:51:14
Assume palm trees are 15 feet tall, dimensions of statue formed into a solid shape are approximately 30 ft x 40 ft x 50 ft, so a volume of 60000 ft^3

50000 tons of platinum has a volume of 75927 ft^3 (density is .6583 ton / ft^3)

So, approximately 15927 tons of platinum were (theoretically) put towards the
scar remover, meaning in today's money it cost 802 Billion dollars.
(IP: 184.74.140.168) 2011-09-27 04:43:14
I just finished thumbing through all of your comics and I've got to say, I definitely enjoyed them. You've got a knack for the sly humor. I'd say it's a combination of one part vixen and one part 5yo girl. This straight/het guy had an excellent time and that wasn't because of all the curves. My only critique is you stick too rigidly to one character silhouette. I get you're going for cheesecake, but there's a lot you can do to vary the characters more while still getting the same effect.
Kachie (IP: 174.51.119.116) 2011-12-25 23:04:02
When I first read this I loled so hard.... When I read it a second time I still loled so hard...

then I shared it with my room mate and we both loled so hard...

I have a new found love for Dr. Chakwas
dany (IP: 188.25.39.86) 2012-01-14 11:25:08
Nice,I stil cant stop laughing
Ryan (IP: 108.73.86.152) 2012-04-19 22:50:08
It is Karen
 <- Name

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